We're not here to scare you. All we're saying is that many of the world's most terrifying serial killers are in fact roaming free, and could be outside your door right now.
Due to some legal loopholes and a system that's surprisingly forgiving of mass murderers, some true monsters have been cranked out onto the street. So the next time you go shopping, you may want to keep an eye out for...
From:
Kazakhstan
Why You Don't Want to Meet Him:
Nikolai Dzhumagaliev is as close to a real life Hannibal Lecter as you can get. The main difference is that Dzhumagaliev has metal teeth.
Operating in 1980 in the former Soviet Union, Dzhumagaliev is one of the most prolific serial killer cannibals the country has ever seen. Affectionately called "Metal Fang" for the set of white, metal teeth which had replaced his own chompers (making himself a sort of hybrid between Lecter and Jaws from James Bond), Dzhumagaliev is said to have killed and eaten somewhere between 50 to 100 women... and even served a few portions to his unknowing friends.
"No, seriously, Nikolai, what is in this?"
No, we didn't make this guy up.
Why You Might Meet Him Anyway:
After being sentenced to a mental institution in Uzbekistan and escaping once, the government decided that less than 10 years of rehabilitation was enough for this serial killer and simply let him go.
"And you PROMISE you won't eat any more women?"
So Where Is He Now?
Very little is known of Dzhumagaliev's current whereabouts, though he is said to be living with his relatives in Eastern Europe. However, being a free man and all, he can travel anywhere he pleases. Perhaps a place where almost no one has heard of him. Like your town, for example.
It could be your neighbor.
Nikolai has always been described as a very charming and well-spoken man, and one not bad to look at to boot (which only helped him lure more women into his fridge). The Jaws teeth are, thankfully, a dead give away. But hey, he could totally blend in at a James Bond convention. Unless he keeps his mouth closed, in which case he could blend in anywhere at all. Your basement, for instance.
From:
Canada
Why You Don't Want to Meet Her:
Let's say you're a woman. And let's say that prior to your wedding, your husband-to-be expresses his one wish: He wants to rape your sister. If your immediate reaction is to help him do it, then you're probably Karla Homolka.
You!
When the sister died during the course of their adventure in unspeakable horror, Karla panicked, called the police and gave herself up.
Oh, wait, no. She and her husband decided to do it again, to another victim. And another. Thus we wound up with the terrifying husband and wife serial killer team of Karla Homolka and Paul Bernardo, whose rampage only ended when Karla was charged with two counts of manslaughter in 1993. She then held a "going away party" before going off to jail, possibly with an amusing cake decorated for the occasion.
Why You Might Meet Her Anyway:
As bad as Karla was, apparently her husband was worse. Despite a mountain of conflicting statements from Karla and Paul, she managed to get a plea bargain in exchange for rolling over on her man. She served 12 years in prison and was released in 2005.
So Where Is She Now?
In 2007, Homolka decided that the only place for her and her one-year-old son to live a normal life were the Antilles. So now, she can be anywhere in Cuba, Jamaica, Haiti, the Dominican Republic or Puerto Rico. You might think that Latin America is not the perfect place for a skinny Canadian blonde to hide but... we don't know how to finish that sentence.
What a monster.
Either way, if while vacation you spot a MILF in her late 30s and want to make sure she is not your type (you know, the raping-killer type), then just remember that the courts have denied Homolka the change of her name. So a quick "Hey Karla" shout-out should clear everything up. If she turns around, that will be your cue to try to break the 500 meter dash record.
From:
Sweden/Finland
Why You Don't Want to Meet Him:
On July 3, 1988, a then 22-year-old Juha Valjakkala stole a bike. He was spotted and chased by the owners of the bike, Sten Nilsson and his 15-year-old son Fredrik. The chase ended at a nearby cemetery where, cornered and facing a bike theft charge, Juha used the Grand Theft Auto method of avoiding misdemeanors: He shot the father and son to death.
Suddenly realizing he had just made his situation quite a bit worse, he thought one way to redeem himself would be by killing Sten's wife, too.
He was arrested a week later.
"You don't really get crime, do you?"
Why You Might Meet Him Anyway:
After an evaluation labeled him a psychopath (money well spent, Finland!), Juha escaped from prison four times (most recently in 2006). The legal system over there decided this was a pretty good indication that he was both reformed and cured of his psychopathy, and after serving 19 years of his life sentence the Finnish courts simply paroled him.
So Where Is He Now?
After being released, Juha did what any man in his position would do after spending almost 20 years in jail for brutal murder: he stole a car, drove recklessly through the streets and in a surprisingly specific type of crime, drove an unlicensed taxi. Seriously, the man was living GTA.
Even Niko's taxi was licensed, for Christ's sake.
This little stunt caused him a trip back to the slammer. But if you were just starting to feel safer about your planned vacation in Scandinavia, then we have some bad news for you. Juha is being released once again on February 2nd (so he may be free now, depending on what day you read this).
And given his apparent passion for automobiles--unlicensed taxis in particular--God only knows when the next cab you take will be driven by him.
"So, new in town? Why don't I show you our magnificent Swedish cemeteries."
From:
Colombia
Why You Don't Want to Meet Him:
Here's everything you need to know about South American serial killer Pedro Lopez: when he confessed his crimes to police, they refused to believe him. They listened to him tell his story, glanced at each other and said, "Oh, bullshit. Get outta here."
Then, a flash flood uncovered a grave containing Lopez's victims. A mass grave.
Lopez had killed over 300 girls in Peru, Colombia and Ecuador. Authorities put him in prison in Ecuador and then explored ways to attach the entire prison to a rocket and fire it into the sun.
Justice.
Why You Might Meet Him Anyway:
It turns out Ecuador has no death penalty, so Pedro, who has served the maximum sentence of 20 years, was secretly released in Colombia in 1999. So he served about three weeks for each person he killed. That seems fair.
So Where Is He Now?
Two possibilities. He can be in Ecuador, the place where he killed the most victims (an average of three per week). In his own words: "I like the girls in Ecuador, they are more gentle and trusting, more innocent".
DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN REGARDLESS OF THE COUNTRY YOU'RE IN.
But, seeing as he is pursued by InterPol over a recent 2002 murder, there is one more possibility. A country where Latino immigrants have been making their way for years, a place where a such a man can basically disappear among his own people, and find employment. We're not going to come out and say that Pedro Lopez is hiding out in America, or that he could be doing work around your neighborhood at this very moment. But he totally might.
From:
Japan
Why You Don't Want to Meet Him:
Issei Sagawa was a student of avant garde literature at the Sorbonne Academy in Paris in the early 80s. In 1981, he invited a Dutch student, Renee Hartevelt, into his apartment for a little "private poetry reading," if you catch our drift. And by that we mean he shot her and ate her body.
Why You Might Meet Him Anyway:
After the courts declared him insane (no surprise, as the actual details of what happened are far more gruesome than what we relayed up there), he was placed in a French asylum.
However, Sagawa's wealthy father arranged for him to be transferred into a Japanese institution, which, due to some paperwork trouble and lack of cooperation between Japan and France, Sagawa left after only 15 months. With a few pieces of Hartevelt still between his teeth, he became a free man.
So Where Is He Now?
Living in some isolated mansion deep in the woods which he leaves at various nights to feast on the local women? Not exactly. Sagawa is living a perfectly open and public life in jolly old Tokyo, enjoying the status of a celebrity.
He is often a guest speaker at various public events and talk shows, openly talking in graphic detail about his experience with eating a human. Surprisingly, he says it taste like tuna. He also has starred in movies, written two books (one basically a step-by-step re-enactment of his 1981 dinner) and even inspired the Rolling Stones's song, "Too Much Blood."
Now he gives TV interviews (as in the below NSFW clip) casually mentioning how he'd like to eat another girl some day.
http://www.cracked.com/article_16998_5-horrific-serial-killers-who-are-free-right-now.html
